Cut Close To The Neck With The Best Safety Razor Blades. Even When You're Shaving

What You Do With The Blades Is Your Business, But We’ll Tell You How To Properly Store and Change ‘Em On Your Razor

I get the feelin’ you’re a lot like me when it comes to shaving. For your face or when you’re settlin’ a score with a muppet on cell block D who stole your biscuit in the dining mess. Either way, you’re gonna need a sharp blade. I’ll tell ya how to properly store and change the best safety razor blades in the UK for the double edge safety razor. But first I wanna tell ya about how we make ‘em. 

When I first joined Mobsters Emporium, I asked The Don, The Boss of the whole operation, how we go about manufacturin’ the blades. He says years ago he heard about a secret, massive meteor crater in a remote part of the Chukchi Peninsula. It was rumored to have metals harder than anything found on earth. He spent six years lookin’ for this crater, you know like goin’ on donkey rides with sherpas and the like, until one day he finally finds it.

Inside the crater he comes upon a community of Siberian Yupik Eskimos who’d never made contact with the outside world. The Yupiks had tamed and domesticated Yetis, that’s right abominable snowmens, from deep up in the mountains and used ‘em to build their villages and make stew out of ‘em. Says they had thousands of the beasts corralled in massive pens. 

The Yupiks would use the teeth of the Yeti and fashion ‘em into weapons like knives, spears and AK-47’s, that’d be sharper than anything on earth. One night, The Don steals a couple of the snowmens and flees the crater. 

So what does he do? He begins breedin’ ‘em right here in the UK in an underground facility where we make our razors and blades out of their teeth to this day. I says, “Wow. We make our blades out of Yeti teeth?” He says, “No stupid, we make ‘em out of precious metals from our guy on the inside who handcrafts each piece.” I never asked him another question again.

HOW TO STORE SAFETY RAZOR BLADES? WHAT’S IT TO YA?

• Right, so the basics, first you wanna clean the blades. After usin’ em, rinse 'em under hot water with high pressure so you get all the short hairs off. 
• Then put rubbing alcohol on a cloth and wipe it, which, just like you, makes the blade sterile.
• Store the blade in a case outside of the loo since it can get damp and damaged in there. Just make sure you keep the case dry and in a safe place so the blue bands can’t find ‘em. 
• For the closest shave, use the blade up to four times and then replace. Dull blades are more prone to givin’ you razor burn. 
• And do us a favor, recycle the blades. Don’t be a scumbag and throw ‘em in the garbage.

YOU DON’T NEED TO GOOGLE “SAFETY RAZOR CHANGE BLADE,” JUST ASK ME, HATCHET

So your safety blade’s used up, you can’t wash out the blood, and you wanna change blades. I talked about this on my other blog, The Best Double Edge Safety Razor & How To F*ckin Use It, so give it a once-over. But here’s a quick recap anyway. 

• Alls you gotta do is take the fresh blade out of the box, then outta the wax paper. 
• Unscrew the head of the razor and separate the two pieces holdin’ the old blade inside. 
• Get rid of the evidence, I mean the old blade. 
• Pop the fresh blade into the razor, fasten back the two pieces of the head and screw it into the base. (You know how to screw don’t ya?) And that’s it, Bob’s your Uncle.

Maybe we don’t make safety blades outta Yeti teeth, but we DO make the bloody best safety razor blades in the UK for your bloody single blade safety razor. So, it begs the question, what do you shave with Susan?