Stroke Your Head Better With The Best Styling Comb
A Folding Comb That Is Always Ready When You Need It To Perform
Men like us perform better when we’re not stressed would you say? Every man feels better after he strokes himself with the Mobsters Mens Folding Comb. It is simple science.
Being durable, lightweight and pocket-sized this flip comb is one of only three things I bring with me on my travels. The other two? A picture of my mother and a picture of yours.
As a warrior who takes pride in his appearance, I stroke with it constantly. It opens and closes smoothly and is always ready to perform. Whether expert or layperson, you may handle it often without having to repair or tighten it.
The folding mechanism keeps the teeth clean and prevents them from snapping off in your pocket. So unlike anyone over the age of twenty in the 1300’s, this pocket comb will never be toothless. And just like the disapproval of family members, it will always be with you.
THE ONLY POCKET COMB I BRING TO A GUNFIGHT
For years we at Mobsters have been entangled in a blood feud with our fierce rivals, Harry’s Boys. A fortnight ago, tensions reached a breaking point and we convened for a showdown in a seedy, desolate area we knew no sane person would ever go… a Starbucks bathroom.
We waited for our foes inside for what seemed like a millennium. They didn’t realize that you have to purchase an item before you are given the bathroom code. Finally after buying a cookie, they came inside.
Violence appeared inevitable, but as I probed deep into my loins, I knew there had to be a better way. Harry’s Boys were armed to the teeth with pistols, trigger fingers itchy, things were about to get hairy.
That’s when I bellowed, “Cease!” I whipped out my styling comb and began to stroke. All eyes turned to me. Front-to-back, back-to-front, side-to-side. With religious fervor I buffed my hair into a majestic quiff. Harry’s Boys were transfixed. I seized the opportunity to toss each of them their very own Mobsters styling comb. One-by-one they began stroking. And soon we were all stroking together.
THE ONLY STYLING COMB FOR GUARANTEED PROTECTION
The world can be a dangerous place for your covetous coif. With our flick comb, you’ll never find yourself in a situation where you can’t perform. Do not leave home without it because you never know when you’ll find yourself in a fix and your hair is in desperate need of one. Our Mobsters pocket comb will protect your hairdo in the eventuality of:
- gusts of wind
- air conditioner water droplets
- gang warfare
- lip sweat that blows up into our bangs
- your mother looking at your hairstyle and saying, “I don’t get it.”
- a damp waft of flatulence
- profuse perspiration after a spicy tikka masala
- droppings from a fickle foal
- the back of your father’s hand
- odious breath
- murder hornets
- the blood of gypsies
With our styling comb your satisfaction is guaranteed. If you do not go from ménage à deux to ménage à trois in three hours, your money back. So ask yourself one question, what do you use to stroke?