The Best Double Edge Safety Razor & How To Use It

Why do I need one and who do I have to kill to get one?

Since The Boss asked me to, I’m gonna take you to school on the double edge safety razor. It’s the only piece we carry in the crew here at Mobsters Emporium and it’s the one that first got me locked up at thirteen for stealin’ hearts.

OUR SAFETY RAZOR’S GOT A NICE BALANCE AND PRECISION, SO YOU’RE READY FOR ANY POTENTIAL “SITUATION”

The double edge razor blades are real affordable. Whether you have the coarse hair of a yak in heat or soft hair, you can sample with different blades to find what works for you. Finally, you’ll have some control over your “furry situation.”

MADE OUT OF COLD HARD STEEL

Purchasin’ a double edge razor is a one time deal mate. You get a piece with a sleek, sturdy handle made out of cold, hard steel and it lasts til you’re pushin’ up daisies. No plastic bull' and no gimmicks. Your WWII veteran grandpas would be rollin’ in their graves if they knew what you were doin’ in the bathroom… and also because you’re usin’ crappy razors. 

HOW TO USE A SAFETY RAZOR… FOR SHAVING OF COURSE

This razor is tops at extracting information from people who don’t wanna talk, but for now I’ll just give you the basics on its shaving capabilities. 

• Alls you gotta do is pop the blade into the razor, drop it between the two pieces of the head and screw it into the base. 
• Shower or apply a hot towel to your face for about 30 seconds to soften up your short hairs. Then use a face wash to cleanse and a face scrub to remove all that dead skin pilin’ up on your mug.
• Shaving with a safety razor is so easy you could do it blindfolded in the trunk of a car. Use short straight strokes at a 30 degree angle for maximum effect. Be careful around your Adam's apple, wouldn’t want you to suffer a Columbian necktie.

Final point before I gotta get back to filin’ down craps dice. Double edge razors are tops at preventin’ irritation on your skin. Reason bein’ usin’ too many or cheap plastic razors can cut your hair too deeply makin’ your follicles grow all wonky. With the single blade and anti-slip control on the double edge razor, you can determine how many strokes and how close you want to shave. So the only irritatin’ burns, scratches and bumps you’ll ever experience will be the ones you inflict on your enemies